when the clock strikes three

the gustling winds near the cliff whispered in my ears... do not doubt this path , do not doubt your motivation ,do not doubt your intentions, do not doubt yourself... let yourself drift..

I inhaled a sharp deep breath ... my limbs were still not in tandem with my mind , my heart... they stood firm against the hardened rock.. the cold livingless projection i looked to for mortal support.. what are you doing your lean frame is not made for your superlicious far-fetched untrue thoughts.. get back to that sense of security.. they wait for you in hope of a better them.. you are indispensable ... your presence marks the victory of hope...

i gathered my courage... with eyes still shut firmly i bent my head down... respecting the intensity with which the stream gushed its way through the rocks below... i recalled its silver glare reminding me of all the sins i commited consciously/sub-consciously.... feared the blind wrath that crushed all rocks in its path reducing them to sand ... the steel cold breeze that accompanied its flow.. slapping hard against my frail body ... punishing me for my lack of grattitude ... alas


in a fleeting moment i relised all this is was a self-manufactured setup ..in vain... my myriad thoughts materialised into the most beautiful moments of life.. the originality of nature.... but the ugly truth stung.. it stung bad... my wounds were bleeding again... i had someone to blame though... some one whom i thought i could trust upon ... myself...

the rock i rested on was no rock... it was one of the last ti-co multi-purpose-washer i had inherited... the others were stolen not that i regretted not safeguarding them.. they marked my helplessness to fight my own folly... nevertheless i knew i needed to keep this one ..as a shield against my enemies..
those inhumane creatures were waiting... their throats bellowing with the most venomous of cries.. asking me ..no no commanding me..to give up... their savage fingers impatient to claw at my soft flesh... to devour it with great vehemance... shiver

the angry stream I imagined was the melting pot of sodium chloride .... falling into the bottomless abyss of the reef a few yards ahead... the stench putting me off guard.. it was always more inhumane and unearthly than its predecessor... there was no glare.. just the empty green-purple lifelesss potentially toxic abiotic fluid guzzling its way down the path...

i had worked hard all these years .. so had my parents... ditto for their parents and so on... for what.. to live or rather die the truth i now survive.. or is it suffer?? i recounted those hay-days ... the undying urge to live ... when i made fun of the warnings... the initial signs of discontent... too comfortable with my false sense of security... there was no room for regret... for her sorrows

i hear a rather distant cry of help... brimming with sorrow.. like the fear of the devil himself... i look around for another hapless victim (or is it culprit?) like myself... and then i gave myself a heart atack ... i laughed... a loud hollow guffaw ... the same faintly familiar loud explosion of emotions... i laughed at myself.. mocked myself for not coming to terms with the fact that the wail had its origins in me... i was giving away... finally.... she was dying ...myself being the murderer... the extortionist ..the terrorist..the vandalist... deserved to die first.. a painful harsh unfeeling end was close... and i shut my eyes to accept it


when i used to stare at the sky ... i dreamt of being the bird flying free in the endless sky ... now i want to be the sky instead ...amen.